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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25031047">Tempo Primo</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyseul/pseuds/joyseul'>joyseul</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fascinating Rhythm [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band), NCT Dream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Middle School, Coming of Age, Gen, M/M, Shippy Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:20:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25031047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyseul/pseuds/joyseul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After avoiding his ex for more than a year, Renjun finally has to face Donghyuck. He recalled their past and realized everything he's done wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fascinating Rhythm [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tempo Primo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The walk from Chenle’s restaurant to Donghyuck’s car is short, but to Renjun it feels like he’s been running a marathon. It might be because he’s holding his breath, his stomach feels queasy and it’s definitely not from the food he ate earlier. He’s struggling with his inner turmoil about the turn of events this afternoon. All he wanted was to take a break from stressing about applying to universities and eat a bowl of free jjampong to cheer him up after an exhausting week. Somehow, he’s now sitting on the passenger seat of his ex’s car. The ex that he hasn’t seen for one year and a half now. The ex that hasn’t left his mind since he-</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Renjun tries not to screech but he fails miserably when he sees Donghyuck’s face suddenly in front of him, slowly approaching and... goes past his face. He’s looking at his hip and puts on the safety belt for Renjun. </p>
<p>It’s a little hard to breathe, so Renjun inhales loudly. Donghyuck chuckles. “Just thought that I should put on your safety belt since you haven’t been replying to me when I told you to, three times already.” He leans backs into the driver’s seat after Renjun is safely tucked in his seat, face red with what he only wants to admit as frustration. He knows that’s not even the slightest bit true. </p>
<p>Donghyuck starts his car and starts driving and the air surrounding them is awkward, to say the least. The radio is on but somehow it feels like it’s silent, the kind of silence that is overwhelming and deafening, although it’s not even quiet at all in the car and especially in Renjun’s head. He thinks of how it was never quiet when they were together. They were always bantering and joking and laughing. </p>
<p>“Something on your mind?” Donghyuck suddenly asks. He has never been the one to beat around the bush, always says what he wants whenever he wants to. Renjun has always admired that side of him, if only he wasn’t the one being interrogated. It’s just a question, but Renjun is already fidgeting in his seat. His mouth is dry and there is a lump in his throat, he doesn’t seem to have the ability to form a sentence. Not even a word.</p>
<p>No matter how hard he tries to hide it, Renjun’s inner agony is still clearly shown on his face. His eyebrows are furrowed and his face is scrunched. He hasn’t exhaled for a while. Donghyuck takes notice of that, as he always does, and puts a hand over Renjun’s hand that is currently grabbing on his jeans tightly. He doesn’t even realize he’s been doing that, the tip of his fingers are red from the lack of blood circulation. “It’s fine. You don’t have to answer it.” There is it again. It doesn’t make sense to Renjun that Donghyuck still treats him like this. </p>
<p>Like Renjun was not the one who ghosted him and cut him off from his life one and a half years ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a hot summer day when Donghyuck and Renjun met for the first time. His mom and Donghyuck’s mom worked in the same elementary school, his mom being a music teacher and Donghyuck’s mom a math teacher. They talked every day in the teacher’s lounge and eventually found out that Donghyuck was interested in music and learning piano, but the family didn’t have a piano and didn’t know where to start. Plus, Donghyuck just started middle school and people had been telling the family he was already too old to learn music. Being a good friend and music teacher that she was, Renjun’s mom denied that myth and offered him a piano lesson from her son.</p>
<p>Renjun had started learning piano when he was four years old. Aside from him being naturally good, he was also an ambitious kid who practiced diligently. As soon as he had finished the lessons, he took a test so he could get a license to teach piano. He usually taught toddlers, though. When his mom told him there was an opportunity to teach a guy his age, he was both skeptical and excited.</p>
<p>He was mostly excited for the opportunity to make a new friend his age. He didn’t have a lot of friends since his family moved to Korea when he was in 5th grade where everyone already had a group of friends, so his resolution for this new school year was to make new friends. He had become quick friends with Jaemin and Yangyang from his class, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a new one. Especially a person who was interested in music. All Jaemin and Yangyang listened to was teen pop stars like Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande, and while he eventually jammed to their music since they blasted it every single day, he missed talking about classical music from time to time.</p>
<p>He figured it would be a good challenge and opportunity for him. Enthusiastically, he agreed to teach his mom’s friend’s son and immediately started preparing for his first lesson with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His palms were sweaty when the over excited guy came into his house that day. He seemed so friendly when he offered his hand to Renjun. “Hi, my name is Donghyuck! Nice to meet you, Teacher!” He exclaimed while shaking Renjun’s hand up and down. Renjun just stared at him blankly before laughing.</p>
<p>“Please, don’t call me Teacher. My name is Renjun.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Surprisingly, Donghyuck ended up to be a fast learner and a hard working student. Initially Renjun just gave him 2 songs per week to learn, but he always came back to Renjun already acing the songs, so he asked Renjun to give him more. So Renjun revised the ‘syllabus’ that he previously made for Donghyuck and started giving him more responsibility.</p>
<p>“Be honest with me. Do you think these songs are boring?” Renjun asked one day while trying to choose songs for Donghyuck’s homework. He purposely skipped some basic songs that he knew would be too easy for Donghyuck. Maybe he should move on from Beyer and Czerny already. <em> Is Beethoven too soon? It’s only been three months.  </em></p>
<p>“Oh, painfully so.” Donghyuck replied. Renjun snorted. “That’s why I learn it so quickly so I can move on to the next books.” He continued confidently. Renjun nodded and hummed, acknowledging his determination. The past few months he learned that Donghyuck was pretty straightforward —and a little bit of a narcissist— but he appreciated it. It made his job as a teacher easier. He didn’t want to waste any time on songs with similar levels of difficulty when Donghyuck had proven he could do it. </p>
<p>Through Donghyuck, he learned that teaching older people turned out not to be that bad. Toddlers always needed his reminder to practice and Renjun always tried to politely tell their parents to encourage their kids to practice. Teaching Donghyuck was way easier, unexpectedly quick. He was pleasantly surprised. He guessed some people really did have a natural talent.</p>
<p>“How did you learn so fast? If I recalled correctly, your mom told my mom you didn’t have a piano at home.” Renjun looked at Donghyuck and the boy just smiled sheepishly.</p>
<p>“I asked my music teacher at school to lend me a key to the music room so I can stay late at school to practice.” He scratched his head, uncharacteristically embarrassed. But for what? If anything, he should be proud of himself. Renjun’s eyebrows were furrowed, he didn’t like the sound of that at all. </p>
<p>An idea suddenly appeared in his head. </p>
<p>After Renjun finished marking the songs for Donghyuck homework and put the books back in Donghyuck’s book bag, he took Donghyuck’s hand and tugged him so he would stand up. “ Wow, wow, where are we going?” He asked, confused as to why Renjun was dragging him somewhere. Renjun didn’t provide an answer and continued dragging him upstairs. Donghyuck fumbled in his steps, trying to catch up with Renjun’s tiny but quick steps. </p>
<p>He opened his bedroom door and finally let go of Donghyuck’s hand. If he wasn’t too focused, he could’ve seen Donghyuck’s disappointed face when their hands were no longer joint together. “Can you call your mom to pick you up today? So you don’t have to ride the subway.” Renjun asked, getting Donghyuck to be even more confused.</p>
<p>“Um. What are you even talking about?” Donghyuck looked at Renjun in bemusement, but then he followed Renjun’s eyes. He was looking at his keyboard. “Renjun, I can’t..” </p>
<p>Renjun tsked. “It’s unacceptable. You should be able to practice at home. Just take it, I don’t really need it anyway, I have a piano. You can give it back whenever you want.” When he looked back at Donghyuck, there were sparkles in Donghyuck’s beaming eyes. Something moved in Renjun’s chest. His heart sank, touched that Donghyuck looked so thankful for his gesture. But there was something else, and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Donghyuck walked closer to him and wrapped his arms around his tiny body, his head resting on Renjun’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” He voiced his gratitude to Renjun’s neck and Renjun felt his ears heating up. He patted Donghyuck’s back awkwardly, desperately wanting for the hug to end, but didn’t do anything about it. He wondered why.</p>
<p>When Donghyuck pulled away and looked at him with sparkly eyes and the biggest brightest smile, Renjun’s heart skipped a beat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next week, Renjun opened the door to a sheepish smile and a tiered stainless steel lunch box. “My mom wants to thank you for the keyboard.. She’s.. extra.” Renjun just smiled and led Donghyuck into the dining area so he could put the lunch box on the dining table. Then, they went to do their hour long lesson as usual. </p>
<p>Afterwards, when Donghyuck tidied up his books and put them in his book bag, Renjun tapped his arm. “Hey. Let’s eat it together. My parents are always home late and no one else will eat it but me anyway. It would be a waste, I couldn’t finish it alone.” He said nonchalantly, averting his gaze to the flower vase on top of his piano. Truthfully, he was a little bit nervous to ask, since Donghyuck always went straight home each time they finished a lesson. However, he couldn’t miss this opportunity to hang out a little bit more with Donghyuck. He didn’t want to dissect his thoughts about why he wanted that, convincing himself that he just wanted to be closer friends with him.</p>
<p>“My mom would get mad if she knows, but she yells at me everyday anyway.” Donghyuck shrugged and smirked. </p>
<p>Renjun laughed and dragged him to the dining area. He tried to help but Donghyuck pushed him away, insisting that preparing the food was the least he could do to thank him for the keyboard. So there Renjun was, sitting and unconsciously observing Donghyuck’s face intently. </p>
<p>It was about time until Donghyuck noticed. “You look cute when you’re staring at me.” Donghyuck’s voice brought him out of his trance. He looked away immediately, pretending he was looking at the lunch box. Was he too obvious?</p>
<p>Renjun tried not to panic although he desperately wanted to punch himself in the face for making a fool of himself in front of Donghyuck. “You’re so full of yourself.. I wasn’t even looking at you, I was looking at the food. Is that Hanwoo beef?” He changed the topic quickly, dragging the container filled with meat closer and pretending to observe it. <em> Yeah right, meat is soooo fascinating </em>. He saw Donghyuck snort and smile from his peripheral vision but he refused to look at him directly. </p>
<p>During dinner, he learned that Donghyuck had a younger sister and two younger brothers. It was a little bit surprising to Renjun since he had the aura of a playful youngest child. But he guessed it kind of made sense since Donghyuck could easily adjust to a new environment. Plus, he was unexpectedly hard working and observant, traits that an eldest child usually had. </p>
<p>Listening to Donghyuck tell stories about his siblings made Renjun feel a little bit jealous. Being an only child, he had been alone all his life. His mom was his best friend for the longest time and he always longed for more same age friends. Chatting while eating dinner together with Donghyuck was definitely filling that void. It felt so easy and warm. Maybe because it was Donghyuck. Friendly, funny, and easy on the eyes Donghyuck.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but wishing that Donghyuck would stay a little bit longer when he walked him to the door, waving his hand goodbye, saying “See you next week!” with a tone that was a touch too eager. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I just say something?” Renjun was telling stories about his piano lessons with Donghyuck, a lunch routine for him at this point, when Yangyang suddenly interrupted him. Jaemin looked nervous, his fingers were tapping on the cafeteria desk. <em> Something smells fishy </em>, Renjun thought. What could this be about? “We think,” Yangyang gestured to Jaemin and himself, “that you have a crush on Donghyuck.” </p>
<p>Renjun gasped. “What.” He whispered breathily, his eyes were throwing daggers to Yangyang and Jaemin back and forth in disbelief. “What?” He said it again, with higher pitch and louder volume this time, his eyes grew twice bigger than they usually were. His hands were on his temples, caging his animated face. Jaemin’s hand gripped Yangyang’s arm, scared of what was going to happen next.</p>
<p>“WHAT!” Renjun slammed his hands on the table and screamed this time. Both Yangyang and Jaemin gasped, hands clutching on each other as if they were afraid Renjun would reach over the table and strangle them both.</p>
<p>Upon his outburst, the cafeteria turned dead silent. The buzz of people’s chatters stopped as everyone’s eyes turned to look at Renjun. When he realized what he had done, he looked around for a good second and ran to the toilet. Both Yangyang and Jaemin quickly followed behind him with hurried steps and apologetic smiles. When they finally reached the bathroom, Renjun was already locking himself inside a cubicle.</p>
<p>“Renjun, please. Talk to us.” Jaemin knocked on the door and pleaded desperately. It was stupid. Renjun knew what he was doing was extremely foolish and even further confirmed his friends’ accusation. It was not even an accusation, it was just an observation, a commentary. Why was Renjun panicking so much over it? It didn’t make any sense. “If it makes you feel better, I’m dating Lucas right now.” Jaemin suddenly confessed. Renjun could hear Yangyang gasp behind the door.</p>
<p>Jaemin was right. It did make him feel better, knowing his friend also liked guys. <em> Wait, also? </em> Admitting to himself that he liked guys was already hard, but admitting he liked <em> Donghyuck </em> was overwhelming for Renjun. However, his desire to know all the details about Jaemin dating Lucas outweighed his fear of facing the truth. Begrudgingly, he finally opened the cubicle door to see his best friends, eyes widened and concern painted all over their faces.</p>
<p>He was immediately attacked by a hug from Jaemin, followed by Yangyang enveloping both of them tightly in his arms. “Get off of me, you’re acting like I’m dying!” Renjun shouted. He didn’t actually mind getting hugged, it was rather calming and his heart stopped racing like it did a few minutes ago. It was just natural for him to deny it. </p>
<p>“You were acting like you were about to kill us and dip, so..” Yangyang mumbled into Renjun’s shoulder. Jaemin started to snicker and that was what made Renjun finally push them away, not without any struggle because Jaemin and Yangyang were unexpectedly strong despite looking like twigs —not that he was any bigger, he was actually the smallest of them all but in his mind his personality made up for it. </p>
<p>They were looking intently at Renjun, waiting for him to say something. The realization started to hit him and he pulled on his hair out of desperation. “What should I do, I fucking like Donghyuck.” Renjun squeaked, like a mouse trapped in a corner. Jaemin and Yangyang looked at each other and smirked. <em> This can’t be good </em>, Renjun thought faintly before letting them start scheming. “And you. Tell me how you scam Lucas into liking you.” He added, only to be greeted by a punch on his shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun was sweating bullets. He was never nervous before teaching a lesson, up until then. Maybe he was a little bit nervous during the first lesson with Donghyuck, but it was a different kind of nervous. This was a million times more intense. He couldn’t even look at Donghyuck’s face when he opened the door and let him in. He was hyper aware at how close his chair was with the piano bench. Had they been this close the entire time? He felt like he was just a breath away from smelling Donghyuck’s neck. <em> Oh wow his neck is pretty. </em></p>
<p>“Hey. Renjun?” He didn’t realize that Donghyuck had been tapping on his arm, staring at him curiously. “I was asking if I needed to repeat the last song but you didn’t answer. Are you okay? Are you sick?” Donghyuck’s face suddenly came closer to his, observing his face intently. He put the back of his hand on Renjun’s forehead, then to his own. “It’s a little bit warm. Should we just finish the lesson now?” Donghyuck kept trying to get him to talk but his tongue was tied. It was embarrassing. Renjun wasn’t usually this shy. He guessed he had never actually liked anyone before, considering how speechless he was right then and there.</p>
<p>It had been a good minute of awkward silence so Renjun mustered the courage to finally talk. He didn’t know if Donghyuck liked him but his odd behavior might make him hate Renjun and he didn’t want to risk it. “I’m fine. You don’t have to repeat the song. You’re perfect.” He blurted, realizing what he said could be interpreted in different ways judging from Donghyuck’s smirk. “I meant, it was perfect.” Renjun cleared his throat, pretending he didn’t just say Donghyuck was perfect. He didn’t lie, though. </p>
<p>Renjun suddenly remembered Jaemin’s scheme. It wasn’t even a scheme and it was not even that hard. He just had to ask which artists Donghyuck liked so he could learn some songs from them and charm Donghyuck with his piano skills. He could do that, definitely. “Anyways, out of topic but which singers do you like?” He asked. He realized it was a bit out of the blue, but his brain has short circuited for a while now and he couldn’t try to make a smooth segue on the spot, not even if his life depended on it.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s eyes lit up. “Why? Can you teach me to play their songs if I told you?” Donghyuck held his arms in excitement.</p>
<p><em> Well. There’s another way to go about it. </em>“Uh. Sure.” Renjun sighed in defeat. Maybe he wasn’t meant to charm anyone if he couldn’t even stir a conversation to his needs. Looking at Donghyuck’s enthusiastic face was enough for now. He would pinch his cheeks if he had the guts to. Plus, the hands grabbing his arms did not feel bad, not at all.</p>
<p>“Don’t judge, but I actually really like EXO.” Renjun could not believe the universe was on his side for once. Maybe he could still execute Jaemin’s plan after all. He had a victory smile plastered on his face when he asked for Donghyuck to scoot over so they could share the piano bench. </p>
<p>He thanked the heavens for forcing himself to learn Into Your World last year. The hours of figuring out the keys and practicing finally paid off. His fingers played the song perfectly and he knew for a fact it sounded amazing. Gradually, he started to feel bolder, so he started singing as well. Jaemin would be proud. He was <em> charming. </em>He didn’t want to be prideful but he had been told he could easily be a pop singer.</p>
<p>It was fine and dandy until Donghyuck started harmonizing with him and his heart skipped a beat, or two. He was about to pause to look at Donghyuck but he didn’t, he needed to hear more. Donghyuck’s voice was mesmerizing. It was thick and it had a unique timbre, completely different from his light airy voice. Their voices complemented each other beautifully, creating a captivating harmony. Donghyuck’s voice both grounded him and made him feel lighter. He knew it didn’t make sense but that was what it felt like. Everything felt surreal. His fingers had a mind of his own and he felt like he was floating, completely detached from his own body, looking at himself and Donghyuck from afar. </p>
<p>When the song ended, he released the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.</p>
<p>“You.. can sing?” Renjun looked at Donghyuck in awe. His jaw dropped, literally. This boy kept making him fall harder and harder. He couldn’t even control himself. Jaemin would <em> not </em> be proud.</p>
<p>“<em> You </em>can sing. Holy shit. You sounded like an angel, actually. How fitting.” Donghyuck complimented him smoothly and winked. Renjun pushed his shoulder playfully and Donghyuck bursted into a fit of laughter. “Hey, but seriously, we sounded good together. Don’t you think?” He continued, adding on Renjun’s already full heart. </p>
<p>He realized that he lost that day. He was the one that was being charmed, and it was getting harder to pretend he didn’t have feelings for Donghyuck. “Yeah, we did sound good.” He finally replied, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Donghyuck.</p>
<p>“Teach me this song, then.” Donghyuck requested, he linked his arm with Renjun’s, making him realize they were huddled together on a piano bench. He suddenly felt the warmth radiating from the entire left side of Donghyuck’s body on his own. He couldn’t bring himself to push Donghyuck away this time and took the opportunity to lean into the touch. It felt warm and comfortable. </p>
<p>“Okay, leave your notebook and I’ll get back to you next week.” He answered. “Wanna eat ramyeon and watch Growl performances before you go home?” He embarrassed himself enough today that he felt a little bit shameless now. Asking Donghyuck to stay longer than he should was a piece of cake.</p>
<p>Donghyuck beamed and looked up at him. “I thought you’d never ask.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun almost fell from his bed when he received a text from Donghyuck that Thursday night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Donghyuckie♬
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Did you get your Miracles in December album? Whose snow globe did you get? 
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    I got Baekhyun! Hahaha, jealous? Who did you get?
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Lucky ㅠㅠ I got Kai<br/>
Can’t you change your bias so we can exchange photocards?
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Why don’t YOU change your bias?<br/>
Oh wait, my best friend is actually a Kai stan and he got Baekhyun snow globe<br/>
I can ask him to bring it tomorrow to class and you can exchange it with yours during your lesson next week?
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    I LOVE YOU<br/>
I’M COMING OVER TOMORROW NIGHT<br/>
I mean if that’s okay with you but I actually can’t wait until next Monday
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Geez. Fine. Come over tomorrow then
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In reality, Renjun didn’t sound as calm as he did in the text. He was actually screaming and jumping up and down with his hands punching the air alternatively. It was as if he just won a lottery. He didn’t care when his mom yelled at him from downstairs, telling him to tone it down. <em> I LOVE YOU </em>. He reread that message over and over again and the smile on his face wouldn’t leave, not even when Jaemin made fun of him over the phone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun was lying on his stomach, waiting for Donghyuck’s text when there was a knock on his door. “Come in.” He said lazily, expecting his mom to come in and check on him after she came home from work. </p>
<p>It turned out to be Donghyuck in his uniform. </p>
<p>He quickly jerked into a sitting position, his heart was beating loudly in his chest. He couldn’t tell it was because he was surprised or because Donghyuck looked absolutely precious in his school uniform. Yellow blazer wasn’t supposed to look good on anyone, but it was no surprise to him that Donghyuck suited yellow. Donghyuck was basically sunshine personified. “How did you get in?” That was the only thing that he could let out of his mouth. He really was about to blurt out <em> how are you so cute </em>but he managed to filter himself. </p>
<p>Donghyuck closed the door behind him and gestured to ask if he could sit on the bed, in which Renjun nodded in affirmation. “I arrived here at the same time as your mom, so she let me in and told me to just go into your room. Hehe. Came here as soon as I was done with school projects.” He put his bag on the floor and reached through it carefully before he fished out a transparent plastic folder with a paper snow globe in it.</p>
<p><em> Oh right, the snow globe. </em>For a second Renjun fed his delusion about hanging out with Donghyuck in his bedroom because he wanted to spend time with him. But of course, it was to exchange paper snow globes of kpop boys. He didn’t mind though, as long as Donghyuck was in his bed with him. The thought of that already made his face heat up. He quickly fetched the album on his desk.</p>
<p>When he opened the album, revealing Baekhyun’s face on that paper snow globe, he saw Donghyuck gasp and hold himself back from snatching it from his hands. He snickered and carefully gave one of the Baekhyun snow globes to him. Donghyuck’s eyes widened in amazement and he held it like it was a newborn baby. Renjun snorted. “Calm down. It’s just a paper snow globe.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck looked at Renjun like he just said something blasphemous. “It’s Byun Baekhyun. I cannot calm down when it comes to him.” He scolded Renjun in the most adorable fake angry face. Renjun’s heart swelled, he wondered how if Donghyuck could be any cuter than this. Ashamed for thinking that while staring at Donghyuck’s face, he put his attention to the album’s booklet.</p>
<p>He idly flipped through the pages and Donghyuck shifted closer to him, wanting to see the pictures clearer. Suddenly, Donghyuck held his hand to stop him. He could feel the pink instantly spreading on his cheeks. “Stop. Look at him. Look at his hands.” Donghyuck carefully put his snow globe so he could point at Baekhyun’s picture without letting go of Renjun’s hand. “Aren’t his fingers so pretty? Look at how soft and dainty they are.” Donghyuck sighed in awe.</p>
<p>He did not want to admit it but Renjun felt a little bit jealous. It was stupid, he liked Baekhyun too. But Donghyuck just wouldn’t stop talking about him. <em> Does he really like Baekhyun that much? </em>“What about it? My hands are prettier.” He sulked quietly, his lips turned into a pout.</p>
<p>Donghyuck teared his eyes away from the booklet and looked at Renjun. There was none of the signature Donghyuck smirk. Instead, his face looked serious that Renjun felt a tad intimidated. He bravely held eye contact and shrugged, his head gesturing to his hand that Donghyuck was still holding. Donghyuck looked down on their hands and lifted Renjun’s hand up to his eye level. He was observing Renjun’s fingers carefully, his other hand joined in on the investigation of whether Renjun’s hands were prettier than Baekhyun’s. He stopped and thumbed Renjun’s birthmark softly and smiled fondly. Renjun could feel his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He could hear it, even. He hoped Donghyuck was far enough to not hear it, although they were as close as they had ever been at that moment.</p>
<p>After what felt like forever, Donghyuck looked like he concluded his research. He put both of their hands down and looked at Renjun’s eyes. “You’re right. Your hands are prettier, indeed.” It was the way Donghyuck said it that made Renjun feel exposed. He could not find a hint of sarcasm and only heard sincerity. </p>
<p>Realization suddenly fell upon Renjun that they were on his bed, holding hands, their sides were pressed on each other and their eyes were locked. It was overwhelming, so Renjun tried to look away. He tried, before Donghyuck’s hand flew to his cheek, preventing him to avert his gaze.</p>
<p>Renjun’s throat felt as dry as a desert. He gulped loudly. Donghyuck’s eyes moved to his bare throat and down to his collarbones. He regretted at that moment that he left his pajama’s first button unbuttoned. </p>
<p>When Donghyuck looked back up to his face, he was licking his own dry lips. Donghyuck’s eyes stopped and focused on his lips now. <em> Shit shit shit. </em>He could only curse inside when Donghyuck’s face was closing in on him, they both started to close their eyes before they heard a loud knock on the door.</p>
<p>Donghyuck instinctively fell to the floor, acting as if he had been sitting there the whole time when Renjun’s mom came in. She looked back and forth to Renjun on the bed, sitting awkwardly, and Donghyuck on the floor. “I have been calling you kids to go downstairs. Dinner is ready. Come down.” She said sweetly, although she had this confused look on her face. Renjun nodded and followed her, looking back at Donghyuck briefly just to tell him to come. He was clearly avoiding eye contact, but he saw that Donghyuck had his smirk back on his face.</p>
<p>Dinner went on like a surreal dream. For Renjun, at least. He could not believe Donghyuck was holding conversations with his parents excellently. Was he the only one affected by what had just happened in his bedroom earlier? </p>
<p>Her parents kept cracking jokes and nudging Renjun to laugh with them. He complied, but didn’t have the slightest idea of what they were talking about. He felt like he was watching a montage while Into Your World was playing in the background. <em> Oh god it’s our song. Oh my god we have a song.  </em></p>
<p>Renjun lost his appetite. </p>
<p>Donghyuck offered to wash the dishes, since he was intruding on their family dinner. As expected, Renjun’s mom quickly pushed him away, telling him to go back and play with Renjun. Renjun would've appreciated a little bit of alone time since he was still processing his almost first kiss, but he had to accept that he would be alone with Donghyuck in his bedroom again.</p>
<p>He was opening his bedroom door sluggishly when Donghyuck suddenly said, “I better go home now. You don’t look so good.” He went to quickly pack his bag, putting the Kai snow globe on Renjun’s desk and putting the Baekhyun one in the folder he brought. </p>
<p>Renjun was still standing by his door, annoyed. He couldn’t believe his flip-flopping self. Just seconds earlier he wanted Donghyuck to be as far away from him and now that he was going home, Renjun felt disappointed. What was wrong with him? </p>
<p>He was about to tell Donghyuck to stay a little bit longer when Donghyuck put his backpack on. “You don’t have to walk me to the front door, I’m fine by myself.” </p>
<p>“No.” He said firmly, his hand grabbed the sleeve of Donghyuck’s blazer. “I’ll walk you to the door.” He mumbled, he felt shy suddenly. Donghyuck looked at his hand, nodded, and gave him a small smile.</p>
<p>He tugged Donghyuck by the sleeve down the stairs and only unwillingly let go when they arrived at the front door. </p>
<p>“Send my thank you to Jaemin. And introduce me to him so I can treat him to ice cream or something.” Donghyuck patted Renjun’s head. He didn’t make a move to go away so there was an awkward pause. </p>
<p>Before Renjun could call him out on it, make a sarcastic comment or anything that can get rid of the awkwardness, Donghyuck quickly gave him a peck on his left cheek before he waved goodbye. “See you on Monday!” He said briefly. Renjun noticed Donghyuck’s cheeks turning rosy before he power walked away from his house. He brought his hand up to his left cheek, feeling the moisture left by Donghyuck’s lips. </p>
<p>He skipped and whistled cheerfully all the way to his bedroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, he didn’t expect to get a text message from Donghyuck first thing in the morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Donghyuckie (/ω＼)
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    Are you going to watch the Christmas Wonderland concert?
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    And a good morning to you, too<br/>
No, I didn’t get any ticket :/ Slow hands I guess
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt><strong>
    My friend cancelled and I have an extra ticket now. Wanna come with? ;)
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun threw his phone away and buried his head in his pillow so his scream couldn’t be heard by his parents before going back to his phone. He reread the message ten more times just to make sure he read it right. <em> ;) What the fuck does that even mean? </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt> <strong>
   Donghyuckie (/ω＼)
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
   <tt><strong>
   For real?? How much is it? I need to ask my mom but I really want to!!
  </strong></tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Don’t worry about it. It’s settled then! I got the tickets for xmas eve</strong><br/>
<strong>Start learning the lyrics now so we can sing along together. Don’t embarrass me ¬_¬</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Wait really, how much is it???</strong><br/>
<strong>Donghyuck!</strong><br/>
<strong>DONGHYUCK???</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun looked at his phone and pursed his lips. He couldn’t possibly accept a free ticket to a concert, could he? Seemed wrong that he got to watch EXO and f(x) for free. </p>
<p>He contemplated for a few minutes and he finally decided to press the call button. It was the first time he called the boy and he couldn’t believe he convinced himself to do it. He might stutter or said something dumb, or worse, he might be so stunned that he couldn’t say anything at all. What was he supposed to do?</p>
<p>“Renjun?” He finally heard that voice on the line, the voice that he had grown to love the last few months. He hoped Donghyuck couldn’t hear the sound of his heartbeats through the phone because it was ringing so loud in his ears he felt like the whole world could hear it.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat. “How much is it?” He asked firmly, like he wasn’t absolutely losing his shit over listening to Donghyuck’s voice over the phone. Donghyuck just chuckled and that irritated him even more. He was there struggling and Donghyuck could laugh? Unfair. “Donghyuck, I’m serious. How much is the ticket?” </p>
<p>He thought he sounded serious enough to intimidate Donghyuck, but Donghyuck continued snickering. He failed again, as per usual. He kept losing to Donghyuck. “Consider this payment for renting your keyboard.” Donghyuck sounded so genuine that there was warmth spreading in Renjun’s chest.</p>
<p>“Okay. You don’t have to pay for lessons this month, then.” He retaliated. It was apparent from his tone that he was sulking. Donghyuck <em> aww </em>’d and his cheeks reddened. He was glad Donghyuck couldn’t see him because this was plain embarrassing.</p>
<p>“You know my mom will still send money to your mom regardless, right? You won’t even know.” He countered, clearly sure that he wasn’t going to let Renjun spend a dime on this. It seemed like Donghyuck could tell that Renjun was really annoyed with the way he didn’t banter with him. “Come on, treat this as a Christmas gift from me to you. Please.” He begged affectionately. Renjun hated that Donghyuck knew exactly what he was doing. Renjun wasn’t going to be mad at sweet, <em> sweet, </em>Donghyuck.</p>
<p>“Fine.” He sighed in defeat. There was a pause then. Once they were done with the whole “who pays for the ticket” debacle, Renjun didn’t know what to say. If it was up to him —which it was, but he was too much of a coward— he would ask Donghyuck out for lunch, or ice cream, just anything. It was Saturday and the weather was great. It would’ve been a waste if Renjun was to spend it in his bedroom, daydreaming about his silly teenage crush.</p>
<p>“What are you doing today?” As if he could read his mind, Donghyuck asked exactly what Renjun would’ve asked him if he was brave enough.</p>
<p>“Um.. Aside from nothing, I would be doing,” Renjun paused for the dramatics, “.. more nothing. Why?” He asked, feigning nonchalance. He knew where this was going, but he couldn’t sound too excited.</p>
<p>Donghyuck hesitated before he finally said. “Let’s go out for ice cream! Ask your friend Jaemin to join too, I want to thank him. My treat.” Renjun rolled his eyes. <em> Fucking Jaemin </em> was going to be his cockblock for the day. He guessed he owed Jaemin for whatever happened last night, too. So he texted the group chat he had with Jaemin and Yangyang before dragging himself to the bathroom, getting ready for his non-date with Donghyuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is Yangyang. Sorry he’s tagging along. If I didn’t invite him out he would kill me. You don’t have to treat him anything.” Renjun said his disclaimer upon seeing Donghyuck’s face before the poor boy could even say anything. This day was already ruined, Renjun thought. He had dreams of having a non-date date with Donghyuck but this was actually a real non-date now.</p>
<p>Yangyang elbowed his side for embarrassing him before he went to wave at Donghyuck. Donghyuck chuckled upon looking at Renjun's irritated face, then he went to pinch his cheek. “It’s okay.” He gave Renjun a fond look before turning to look at his friends. “I have money to treat everyone.” He held out his hand then. “So you must be Jaemin!” Jaemin shook Donghyuck’s hand excitedly, Renjun scoffed. </p>
<p>“Thank you for exchanging your snow globe with me!” Jaemin squealed and did a little jump out of excitement. Renjun wished his friends were not embarrassing but he had to learn to accept it. </p>
<p>They quickly fell into conversations. They, as in Jaemin and Donghyuck, while Renjun and Yangyang followed behind them. He liked his friends getting along, he really did. Besides, Jaemin had a boyfriend and he knew Renjun liked Donghyuck. So he was confused when he felt jealousy or whatever ugly feeling he was feeling in his chest. In his defense, Jaemin was kinda hogging Donghyuck for himself. They were talking excitedly about how EXO wearing suspenders were peak artistry.</p>
<p>“We’re here!” Donghyuck announced as he stopped them in front of a saccharine sweet decorated ice cream shop. Renjun cringed at the amount of pink and neon signs. This place was made for Jaemin.</p>
<p>Yangyang immediately grabbed Jaemin’s arm as they went in. “You guys go ahead and order. We’re gonna get some seats. We’ll text you our order!” He winked at Renjun and as much as Renjun wanted to punch his guts, he was thankful that he could trust Yangyang to read signs. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, he was already in a sour mood after Donghyuck ignored him, so he pouted as he stood in the line with Donghyuck. </p>
<p>“Which flavor do you want?” Donghyuck asked as he looked through the menu. When Renjun didn’t reply instantly, he put his attention away from the menu and straight to Renjun’s face. The sudden attention surprised him but his lips were still in a pout, his cheeks puffed. “What’s up?” Donghyuck quickly scanned Renjun’s face, trying to read his expression.</p>
<p>“Nothing. Just surprised you acknowledge my existence.” He replied bitterly. He hated himself for being petty but Donghyuck had paid him no attention for the entirety of the 10 minutes walk from the station to the ice cream shop. At that moment, he felt that what he was doing was warranted and not at all childish.</p>
<p>Donghyuk giggled and touched Renjun’s arm softly, slowly slipping his arm so he could link it with Renjun’s. Renjun bit the inside of his cheeks, trying hard not to smile. He was not that weak. “What, you’re jealous of Jaemin?” Donghyuck teased, his face was so close that Renjun could feel the hot breath hitting his ear. He jerked away but Donghyuck pulled him even closer.</p>
<p>“Shut up.” Renjun whispered breathily. He didn't know what to do with his arm. His body was a little bit tense initially, but he slowly leaned into the touch. It seemed like Donghyuck wouldn’t release his grab anytime soon, anyway. “Green tea for me.” He finally answered. “Coffee for Jaemin and cookies and cream for Yangyang.” He continued after checking the message in his phone. </p>
<p>When it was their time to order, Donghyuck went and ordered everything. His hand never left Renjun’s arm except for when he took out his wallet to pay. They were waiting for their order, arms still linked. “So, why are you jealous?” Donghyuck didn’t let Renjun forget and kept egging him on about his antics earlier. Renjun wished he wasn’t a dumb petty teenage boy.</p>
<p>“I’m not jealous of Jaemin. He has a boyfriend.” He answered casually, not letting Donghyuck succeed in making him admit he was indeed jealous of Jaemin. </p>
<p>Donghyuck gasped dramatically. “He has a boyfriend and you’re still jealous? Wow, Huang Renjun. You like me that much?” Renjun wanted to scream. Donghyuck really threw the L-word out there easily like it’s nothing. </p>
<p>“You’re so full of yourself.” Renjun hit Donghyuck’s shoulder and laughed awkwardly. He didn’t have it in him to confirm or deny it. </p>
<p>He was relieved when the cashier called out their queue number soon afterwards. Donghyuck finally let go of his arms because they had to bring two cones of ice creams each.</p>
<p>Fortunately, the conversation they had that afternoon was easy. Renjun didn’t have any excuse to be jealous anymore since Donghyuck put his hand on his knee from time to time, knocking their knees together when his hands were busy with his ice cream. It felt pleasant. He smiled way too much that Yangyang started to look at him weirdly, but he ignored his friend.</p>
<p>After ice cream, they spent the day playing games at the arcade, and soon it was evening. They decided to go home before dark. Since they took different subway routes, Jaemin and Yangyang went separate ways and Renjun was left with Donghyuck.</p>
<p>Truthfully, Renjun was a little bit reluctant that they had to end the day there. It wasn’t a waste of a day, he enjoyed hanging out with his friends. However, the feeling of wanting to spend some time alone with Donghyuck lingered and he couldn’t shake it off of his mind. He tried to walk as slowly as he could so they wouldn’t reach the station so quickly.</p>
<p>“Wanna grab a quick snack before we go home?” Donghyuck suddenly suggested, as if he could read Renjun like a book. Contrary to the confidence in his voice, his eyes looked apprehensive.</p>
<p>As if Renjun would ever say no to that.</p>
<p>Renjun smiled and nodded excitedly, and he knew it did something to Donghyuck with the way his eyes shook. That made him feel encouraged to be the assertive one for once. He grabbed Donghyuck’s hand and dragged him. “I know a place nearby that sells great tteokbokki.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck beamed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The days went by so quickly it was suddenly the 24th. It was his first time going to a concert so Renjun was nervous. <em> What do people wear to concerts? </em>He had been standing in front of his wardrobe for almost 30 minutes, considering if he should wear a sweater or a jacket.</p>
<p>As if on cue, he got a text message from Donghyuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <tt>Donghyuckie (/ω＼)</tt>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>It’s gonna be pretty cold today so better wear padding!</strong><br/>
<strong>Unless you want me to hug you which is fine too ;)</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Blocked. Also I don’t have a padded jacket so I’ll just layer more</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Is that your roundabout way to ask for hugs? ;) ;) ;)</strong><br/>
<strong>See you at the station!</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun sighed. He grabbed a t-shirt, an oversized sweater, a jacket, and a beanie. He hoped there were enough layers to avoid freezing in line. He couldn’t help but secretly wishing it wasn’t enough, though. A hug from Donghyuck didn’t sound bad at all. </p>
<p>What he learned from his first concert experience was that Donghyuck was swift and sneaky and he looked so damn good in his all black outfit. Queueing was a breeze because of Donghyuck and suddenly the concert was about to start and they got the best spot by the railing.</p>
<p>The worst part about having the best spot, however, was that he could feel the weight of the fans pushing from behind him in full force. He kept wincing during the first songs, he couldn’t even fully appreciate Baekhyun’s voice. </p>
<p>All of a sudden, he didn’t feel the push and he felt warm arms circling his body from behind. He looked to the side and didn’t find Donghyuck, so he looked over his shoulder instead, finding the owner of the arms around him. “Didn’t want you to get killed in this concert.” Donghyuck shrugged. Renjun offered him a bashful smile in return.</p>
<p>He no longer could feel anything but Donghyuck’s body pressing from behind and his hot breath on Renjun’s neck. He had been hesitant initially, but eventually leaned back and let himself be hugged. It was inevitable, anyway. Renjun put his hands over Donghyuck’s hands on his stomach and they swayed to the songs in sync. Renjun felt like he was floating.</p>
<p>It was when EXO were performing Christmas Day, Kyungsoo’s adlibs filling the stadium and Sehun’s body roll getting the teenagers scream, when Donghyuck whispered Renjun’s name in his ears. </p>
<p>Renjun shifted his body so he could look back, finding Donghyuck’s glassy eyes.</p>
<p>“Hey, um..” Renjun didn’t know if the thumping on his back was Donghyuck’s heartbeat or if it was his own. <em> Can a heart thump backwards? </em>“I really, really like you.” Donghyuck said gently. It was noisy with EXO singing and fangirls screaming, but Renjun could only hear Donghyuck’s voice. Was there magic in the air? Or was Renjun just stupidly in love? “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” </p>
<p>Renjun didn’t waste a second, for fear that he wouldn’t do anything had he taken some time to contemplate, and hurriedly tiptoed to give Donghyuck a peck on the lips. He whispered a <em> yes </em> in Donghyuck’s ear before looking back to the stage. He squeezed Donghyuck’s hand while singing along to the song.</p>
<p>“You’re just like christmas day..”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dating Donghyuck was entertaining. There was this banter that they kept doing, always trying to get ahead in teasing one another. Donghyuck always won their arguments with his annoyingly witty remarks and Renjun found himself pouting in defeat, arms crossed over his chest. But if losing means Donghyuck would kiss his pout until it went away, Renjun wouldn’t want to win anyway.</p>
<p>His favorite thing about Donghyuck, though, was his cuddles. Ever since they became boyfriends, Donghyuck made sure to stay late after they finished the piano lesson. They would go to Renjun’s room and Donghyuck would sit and lean on the headboard, his legs spread. He would smirk and gesture to Renjun to sit between his legs and Renjun’s face would flush, but he ended up sitting in Donghyuck’s lap anyway. They would just sit there, talk about nothing and everything until his mom called for dinner. Renjun would give him a kiss goodbye by the door and they would text or have a video call until one of them fell asleep.</p>
<p>It had been a year since Renjun taught Donghyuck piano when Donghyuck came in with his keyboard in hand. “My mom finally bought me a keyboard, thank you for lending me.” Donghyuck’s smile looked sad, like it was the end of an era. Surely, separating with a keyboard shouldn’t have been such a sad occurrence. “Also.. I think I don’t need lessons anymore. I can study on my own now.”</p>
<p>Renjun felt an air of melancholy surrounding the both of them. He had been wondering when the lessons would end, but he didn’t expect this to happen today. He had planned to ask Donghyuck if he wanted to learn a new pop song for next week’s lesson. The fact that there would be no lesson next week, and the week after that, punched his gut. There was a lump in his throat and he couldn’t say anything.</p>
<p>He should've known that Donghyuck could read his mind and feel that he was in a state of distress, but he still felt a little surprised when Donghyuck took his face in his hands. His eyes were full of admiration, his lips quirked into a tender smile. His heart eased up a little upon seeing that. “Hey, you know this only means we can now cuddle a little longer every Monday, right?” He caressed Renjun’s cheeks with his thumbs. </p>
<p>“You’ll come every Monday?” Renjun frowned, his hands grab Donghyuck’s wrists desperately. For some reason, he was afraid that Donghyuck would leave him although he knew it was unreasonable. He was just quitting the lesson. He wasn’t quitting Renjun.</p>
<p>Donghyuck put their foreheads together as he wrapped Renjun’s torso in a tight hug. Their lips were only an inch away from each other, their noses are touching. Renjun’s heart was hammering in his heart. The sudden shift in mood was giving him whiplash. One second he was devastated, and the next, he was..</p>
<p>“I’ll come everyday if you want to.” Donghyuck said cheekily. His smile was reassuring and Renjun felt warmth spreading in his chest.</p>
<p>Renjun stretched his neck a little to give his boyfriend a quick kiss. “Promise?” He slipped his hand between their bodies and put his pinky finger between their faces. Donghyuck nodded and linked their pinkies before giving Renjun another kiss. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was long overdue, but Donghyuck finally introduced Renjun to his best friend from elementary school, Jeno. He was completely different from Donghyuck and from what Renjun would imagine Donghyuck’s best friend would be like. He was studious, soft spoken, and his smile looked kind but his facial features were sharp. After chatting for a while, though, he started loosening up and bonded with Renjun over teasing Donghyuck.</p>
<p>“If he went over the line, just crush his hand like this.” Jeno demonstrated, he grabbed Donghyuck’s hand and the grip got tightened and tightened until Donghyuck curled up and asked for forgiveness. Renjun chuckled before rubbing Donghyuck’s hand softly, trying to ease the pain. Jeno scoffed, grossed out by the affection.</p>
<p>“It only works if I had your strength, Jen.” Renjun protested. Upon getting the compliment, Jeno smiled bashfully. It was so adorable that Renjun wanted to coo. “Wow, you’re so cute. How did you even become friends with Donghyuck?” Donghyuck made a face at him and he snickered because he successfully managed to poke fun at his boyfriend.</p>
<p>“Hey! I’m a good friend. And I’m cuter than Jeno.” Donghyuck pretended to be mad. “Anyways, do you think you can introduce him to your friend? Didn’t Jaemin break up with Lucas?” </p>
<p>“Oh. He already broke up with Lucas and dated Hyunmin but he also already broke up with him and now he’s dating a girl.” Donghyuck chuckled at how Renjun just casually aired out his friend’s dating history. </p>
<p>Upon hearing that, though, Jeno’s expression was both in awe and scandalized. “Please, no. I don’t have plans to date anyone, let alone a playboy.” </p>
<p>Renjun shrugged. He thought Jeno would be cute with Jaemin, but he didn’t think Jeno could handle a wildcard like his friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without realizing, time had passed quickly and they were already on their way to graduate middle school. Nothing felt particularly special for Renjun since he was just going to the same school with most likely the same friends. That fact alone made watching Jaemin take pictures with everyone he met after the graduation ceremony even more hilarious, as if they wouldn’t meet again in a month. </p>
<p>Renjun saw Jaemin struggle holding his bouquets of flowers in his hands but he refused to help him. “Well, well, well.. If it isn’t Mr. Popular. You haven’t even taken a single picture with us. Already forgetting your real friends, huh?” He mocked Jaemin for acting like a local celebrity. </p>
<p>Jaemin stuck out his tongue at him before finally taking silly pictures with Renjun and Yangyang. They each got a bouquet of flowers in their hands, so Jaemin couldn’t help but be nosy. “Is that from Hendery?” Jaemin guessed who Yangyang’s flowers were from. He had been dating Hendery for a while but Renjun thought they broke up after Hendery graduated last year —which means nothing since he only moved to the building next to their middle school.</p>
<p>Yangyang smiled shyly. “No. This was from Dejun, actually.”</p>
<p>Jaemin whistled suggestively. Renjun, too, was intrigued. He didn’t even know that they were close. Plus, Hendery and Dejun were close friends. Granted, everyone was basically friends in their school. </p>
<p>Before Renjun could ask Yangyang anything, Jaemin shifted his attention quickly to Renjun. “And how about you, Babe? Isn’t today Donghyuck’s graduation too? I didn’t see him here today.” Jaemin looked curious. Renjun had half a mind to lie, but nothing good would come out of that since Jaemin would know and he would blow things out of proportion.</p>
<p>“First of all, don’t fucking call me <em> Babe </em>.” He threatened Jaemin before he told them the truth. “Uh, it’s from Sicheng.”</p>
<p>Both Jaemin and Yangyang had their jaws dropped, their eyes widened comically. “EXPLAIN.” They both screamed at Renjun’s face, unable to contain their excitement anymore.</p>
<p>Maybe Renjun should’ve lied. “Nothing much. Since he was also graduating, he said he couldn’t feel at ease if he didn’t confess before he moved on to uni. He asked for a date but I told him I had a boyfriend.” Renjun acted as if it was nothing.</p>
<p>As if he hadn’t used to have an enormous crush on him during his first semester in middle school and Sicheng’s first semester in high school. As if he hadn’t dragged Jaemin and Yangyang to watch Sicheng play soccer in their schools' shared football field every Friday for a semester before he started dating Donghyuck. As if he hadn’t spent his last semester being tutored by Sicheng since he was struggling with physics and Lucas connected them together.</p>
<p>Renjun didn’t feel anything, he shouldn’t have felt anything anyway. He was happily dating Donghyuck. He was in love with Donghyuck, even. So when he felt uneasy knowing that his past crush actually liked him, he didn’t know what to do with that information. He didn’t know how he could sit around not constantly thinking about it. His friends being excited, knowing that he was dating someone else, didn’t help.</p>
<p>“Sicheng fucking likes you and you say it’s nothing? Bullshit.” Yangyang chided in disbelief, Jaemin nodded in agreement next to him. Renjun felt the heaviness in his chest.</p>
<p>Of course it wasn’t nothing, Renjun wasn’t a heartless person, no matter how much he acted like it. Everyone knew he was sensitive and felt too much, if anything. He felt flattered, over the moon that a good looking older guy liked him and gave him flowers. Sicheng was popular, every girl and boy in the middle school and high school had a crush on him. No one would even think of rejecting him. So why did Renjun have the audacity to do so?</p>
<p>It was because all he could think of was Donghyuck’s face and his voice, the way they teased each other playfully and the way they always kissed afterwards. Not even Sicheng could compare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was what Renjun had thought before he entered high school. It wasn’t supposed to be different from middle school, except it was. Everyone seemed to have a huge makeover over the break. Everyone seemed to have renewed confidence, strutting in with bright eyes and sparkly new bags and shoes. Everyone was also flirting with each other like it was a competition, a scene that was pretty intimidating for Renjun.</p>
<p>It was only a month in and Jaemin already had a new boyfriend. Renjun wasn’t the slightest bit surprised. He didn’t want to judge, but he was curious about what went on in Jaemin’s head sometimes. He couldn’t even think of not having Donghyuck in his life. He would probably be crushed if Donghyuck didn’t text him every night.</p>
<p>“You know that I have a lot of love to give, right?” Jaemin answered when Renjun had asked. “I don’t hold myself back, I do whatever I feel like doing, you know. One day you’re in love with someone, and the next you don’t. And that’s completely fine.” His answer was simple and Renjun should’ve been able to understand that, but he couldn’t. “I also make sure they’re all friends with me because I like everyone. It’s not like if we break up it means that I wanna stop hanging out with them as friends. That’s a waste of friendship. We already knew each other, might as well be friends, right?” He said cheerfully.</p>
<p>Renjun nodded. He was letting Jaemin’s words marinate in his brain. If he ever broke up with Donghyuck —knock on wood— he didn’t think he could see him and be friends with him. He didn’t want to have to listen to his woes about his new relationships like how Jaemin listened to Lucas’ love stories. That would hurt his feelings.</p>
<p>But that might be because he was still pretty much in love with Donghyuck. Maybe he could be like Jaemin if a miracle happened and he suddenly stopped liking Donghyuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were lazing around under the blanket in Renjun’s bed one Saturday afternoon. It was a particularly cold day and Renjun prefered snuggling with Donghyuck and playing games on his phone rather than having a date outside in the cold. “What’s your dream?” Donghyuck asked Renjun out of the blue. The question caught Renjun off guard.</p>
<p>“Huh? I don’t know. What’s yours?” He threw the question back to Donghyuck. He genuinely didn’t know the answer to that question. What was his dream? He knew he would join the yearbook committee next year. But he couldn’t think of anything further and deeper than that. </p>
<p>Donghyuck avoided Renjun’s eyes and looked up to the ceiling. “Actually, I really want to study music. I want to learn to compose, write, and produce.” He sighed loudly. “It’s crazy right? I'm crazy for even thinking about it.” He looked to his side, finding Renjun staring at him, mouth agape.</p>
<p>Renjun thought it was not crazy at all. “That’s fantastic.” He looked at Donghyuck admirably, his eyes were twinkling. “I think you can do it. You can do anything.” He genuinely believed that. Donghyuck was smart, a quick learner, and a determined person. He knew that there was no dream too high to reach for Donghyuck. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t know Donghyuck’s question would linger in his mind for days. He had been filled with excitement knowing that Donghyuck already had set a path to reach his dream. However, he couldn’t help but think about what he wanted for his own? He had said he wanted to be a teacher and an engineer when he was very young, just because it was his parents’ occupations. He hadn’t even understood what an engineer meant. He definitely didn’t want to be an engineer upon finding out what that actually meant, though. </p>
<p>He had thought about being an astronaut, or something related to space, only because he was intrigued by the possibility of alien beings. But when he realized he wasn’t good at physics, he crossed that off the list. He taught piano from time to time but he didn’t know if he wanted to be an actual school teacher. Teaching many people at the same time seemed to be way more complicated and completely different than teaching a person privately. Music and painting were his favorite things to do, but did he actually want to do that as a job? He hadn’t thought about it, it never crossed my mind.</p>
<p>“Penny for your thoughts?” Jaemin noticed he had been playing with his food for some time, lost in his thoughts. He looked up and saw Jaemin and Yangyang’s concerned faces. Felt like he had been here before.</p>
<p>He exhaled dramatically. “What’s your dream?” He asked, predicting that his friends would be in the same boat as him, a directionless teenager.</p>
<p>Jaemin rested his chin on his hand and simpered. “I wanna be a photographer. Nature, wild life, or maybe just people. If I failed to be a natgeo recognized photographer, I’d just have a wedding photographer business. Seems fun capturing people being in love.” He daydreamed. A specific answer that made perfect sense was not the answer Renjun expected to hear, from Jaemin of all people. Jaemin looked like he was playing around and carelessly having fun all the time, but he turned out to be quite ambitious. His photography skills had gotten better throughout the years, too. He thought it was reasonable for Jaemin to make his dream come true. He was happy for his friend, but he couldn’t help but feeling a little bit uneasy.</p>
<p>“That suits you perfectly.” Yangyang chimed in. “I want to have my own shoe and clothing line. But I have to be some kind of famous person to achieve that, so I have to have at least 5000 followers by next year.” He stated, determined. “How about you?” He turned to Renjun.</p>
<p>Looking at his two friends staring at him with anticipation made him feel on edge. “I.. I don’t have any.” He looked down to his plate, tears brimming in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Yet! Don’t worry, Babe. We’re still so young, my dream will probably change tomorrow.” Jaemin quickly tapped his hand and smiled his signature radiant smile. He knew Jaemin was just trying to console him but Renjun felt better. He was right. Just because everyone else around him had dreams, Renjun shouldn’t have to spiral and overthink things. There was still a long way to go.</p>
<p>“Don’t call me <em> Babe </em>again, stupid.” Yangyang cackled and Jaemin kicked his shin under the table. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hadn’t expected that Donghyuck turned out to be busier than he thought. He joined the basketball team because Jeno asked him to do it together, so he had been practicing twice a week during weekdays and on every Saturday morning. It bothered Renjun a little bit, but he didn’t show it. He tried watching the practice once or twice, but he didn’t enjoy it, so Donghyuck saved him from his misery and told him not to come.</p>
<p>He hadn’t had that much alone time for a while, considering he had been dating Donghyuck almost the entirety of middle school. After considering a few options, he decided he would use that time to find out what his dream was. </p>
<p>Fifteen minutes had gone by and he was already overwhelmed. There were too many universities and majors. He didn’t know where to start, especially because he didn’t even know what he wanted yet. He considered asking Jaemin or Yangyang, but they were both highschoolers and they already knew what they wanted. He needed a direction, a guidance of some sort.</p>
<p>Unknowingly, he was already texting Sicheng. It made sense. He was a university student and he tutored him for a semester, so he probably knew more about academics than his friends. Plus he had already been through this situation before, maybe he could even give him some tips.</p>
<p>Sicheng replied to the text almost too quickly. <em> “Can I call you?” </em>It said. </p>
<p>Renjun wasn’t really nervous when he talked to Sicheng on the phone, maybe because Sicheng was so kind about it. He was asking Renjun what he was good at, his weaknesses, what he enjoyed doing, all sorts of things that he needed to know about himself first. There was no talk about universities and majors but Renjun already felt better. Deciding to call Sicheng was definitely one of the good ideas he had in awhile. </p>
<p>Realizing they had been talking nonstop for an hour, Renjun decided to call it a night and made some plans to meet Sicheng to talk more about it.</p>
<p>Figuring out what he liked turned out to be more enjoyable than Renjun thought it was going to be. Getting a lot of help from Sicheng might be one of the reasons why. He was very patient and insightful. He also had a boyfriend now, which made Renjun feel relieved. He didn’t have to feel guilty about hanging out and calling him too often when he needed advice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been a few months since he started his journey of finding his dreams. The progress had been unexpectedly better than he’d expected. Sicheng told him he should try writing, since he was great at expressing his opinions about music and arts. He thought it wouldn’t hurt, so he joined the school magazine and took the responsibility for the music column. </p>
<p>He was on his desk in his bedroom one night, writing an article for the school magazine when he got a text message from his phone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Donghyuckie ♡</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>I miss you so much</strong><br/>
<strong>Seems like you don’t miss me as much. Haha</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun’s first reaction was to be offended. It wasn’t true. Renjun really missed Donghyuck. He was just excited that he had found what he wanted to do that his mind was often engrossed with that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Donghyuckie ♡</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>I’m sorry I finally have things to do? Can’t you be happy for me???? </strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Renjun, I was just joking. Of course I'm happy for you. I'll always support you</strong><br/>
<strong>I just don’t know what you’ve been doing, you never tell me anything these days. Or even text me first</strong><br/>
<strong>Can I call you?</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>No</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Renjun immediately turned his phone off, his heart was filled with rage. He felt accused, judged. His head was filled with ugly thoughts.</p>
<p>When he went to the bathroom, washing his face to calm down and looking at his own reflection in the mirror, he just realized that lately he was the one stopping their routine night texting early. He never told Donghyuck about any of his conversations with Sicheng. Initially, before he knew Sicheng had a boyfriend, he was just scared that Donghyuck would get jealous and that it would create unnecessary drama. As time went on, he thought he didn’t need to tell everything to Donghyuck anyway, since it was already comfortable not to.</p>
<p>He just noticed now how he never ever once stepped his foot on Donghyuck’s house. It had been almost three years since they started dating and Donghyuck was always the one coming to his house upon Renjun’s request. He never walked Donghyuck home. He stopped watching Donghyuck’s basketball game because of his own selfish reasons.</p>
<p>He’d done it for a few months and Renjun just realized then, that he had been selfish and he didn’t deserve Donghyuck.</p>
<p>He realized he needed to do the most selfless thing he thought he had to do in his life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Donghyuckie ♡</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>I’m sorry, I’ve been an asshole of a boyfriend all this time. You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve me. Let’s not see each other again.</strong><br/>
<strong>Please respect my decision and I hope you will find someone else who can treat you way better than I’ve been treating you.</strong><br/>
<strong>I’m really sorry. </strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>
      <em> You blocked this contact. </em>
    </strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even after he blocked Donghyuck’s number, he still didn’t realize that it was the most selfish thing he had ever done. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” Renjun finally finds the courage in him to speak. He’s seen Donghyuck playing in his school’s basketball court a few times after their one sided break-up, but he usually already ran away before Donghyuck got to notice him. This afternoon in his aunt’s restaurant was the first time he actually met him face to face in over a year. All he wants is for Donghyuck to be angry at him so they can be “even” or something. But Donghyuck has been all smiles and that makes him feel even worse. He truly doesn’t deserve Donghyuck.</p>
<p>“Fine.” Donghyuck pretended to be irritated. He puts his hands on his hips. “Why did you block my number? Why did you not want to talk to me? Why did you run away every time I have a game in your school?” Donghyuck says that in a fake whiny voice and Renjun doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry. “Now that we got that covered, I’ll say something that I actually wanna say.” He takes Renjun’s hands in him. “Hi. I miss you. I really really fucking miss you. I’m glad I let Jeno drag me to the restaurant today just so he could satisfy his noodle cravings. Because I get to see you, talk to you, and drive you home.”</p>
<p>It doesn’t take a second after Donghyuck finishes saying that sentence for Renjun’s tears to fall. They have been brimming in his eyes for a while and they were bound to pour at any moment anyway. Renjun thought he could fight the tears until he reached his room but he overestimated the strength of his heart.</p>
<p>Upon seeing him cry, Donghyuck immediately takes him in his embrace. He can’t help but cry into Donghyuck’s shoulder, saying “I’m sorry” over and over again while Donghyuck tries to soothe him by running his hand on his back. As he collapses onto Donghyuck, he sobs even harder. Donghyuck’s scent, his comfortable shoulder, his warm arms; he’s been longing for these things for so long, way too long. All he could ever do was hug his pillow and replay the memories of these in his head over and over again until he cried himself to sleep. And yet, here he is right now, getting his Donghyuck privilege back. It feels almost sinful. He knows he doesn’t deserve any of those.</p>
<p>Renjun doesn’t know when and how but Donghyuck is already walking him to his door, tells him to unblock his number, kisses his forehead, and bids him goodbye. When he comes to his senses, he’s already in his bed, looking at the ceiling. He feels his phone in his hand so he lifts it to his face, finds Donghyuck’s number, and presses the unblock button.</p>
<p>He doesn’t have to think twice before he texts Donghyuck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Donghyuckie ♡</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
    <strong>Let’s meet this Saturday. I have a lot to say to you.</strong><br/>
<strong>And I’m sorry. Again. I don’t think I can stop saying it.</strong>
  </tt>
</p>
<p>
  <tt>
  <strong>How many times should I say I forgive you?</strong></tt><br/>
<tt><strong>See you on Saturday!</strong></tt><br/><tt>
<strong>And I miss you. I miss you so much.</strong></tt>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He contemplates for a few minutes, Donghyuck probably thinks he’s done texting. But he can’t get rid of the itch in his heart. He wants to scratch it so much that he decides to fuck it all. "I miss you, too. Every single day." He immediately hits send and closes his eyes, trying not to think about getting a reply.</p>
<p>He doesn’t expect to get a call from Donghyuck after sending that, so he lets it ring twice and clears his throat before pressing the green button. He can’t fuck this up again. He’s done self-sabotaging himself.</p>
<p>“I miss you.” Donghyuck immediately says when he accepts the call. Renjun inhales, he’s missed this. Although he just heard Donghyuck’s real voice, he has missed Donghyuck’s voice on the phone as well. It used to soothe him to sleep almost every night. Tears start to form in the corner of his eyes again. “Don’t cry.” Donghyuck nags, catching him off guard. He’s still surprised every time Donghyuck proves how he knows Renjun like the back of his hand. “You’re too pretty to cry.” He flirts.</p>
<p>A laughter finally escapes Renjun’s mouth. He misses being teased by Donghyuck. “Shut up.” He whines before they laugh and talk to each other until Renjun falls asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Saturday comes quickly, though Renjun feels like he’s been waiting forever. He can’t help the guilt that is still creeping up in him. He’s kept Donghyuck in the dark for so long. He tries to shake it away. It’s time to make amends.</p>
<p>A smile immediately appears in Donghyuck’s face upon seeing Renjun walk out of the subway station. He tries not to run and jumps into Donghyuck’s arms, so he power walks until he can say his bashful <em> hi </em> and <em> did you have breakfast yet? </em>. Donghyuck immediately teases him for being uncharacteristically timid, dissolving the tension between them. </p>
<p>Donghyuck doesn’t know where they are going because Renjun only tells him to meet in Gwanghwamun station. Renjun naturally leads the way. Crossing the Gwanghwamun square in good weather with his favorite person feels incredible. He tries to keep a respectable distance with Donghyuck but somewhere along the way Donghyuck manages to slip his hand in his. He doesn’t feel like lying to himself that day, or ever again, so he lets him and gives Donghyuck a reassuring smile in return.</p>
<p>“Wait.. Are my eyes betraying me or is that Jaemin linking arms with Jeno’s sister with Jeno and some girl walking behind them?” Donghyuck suddenly stops and stares in disbelief, mouth agape. </p>
<p>Renjun squints his eyes, trying to see if Donghyuck is hallucinating, but he’s right. “Yep. That’s Hina, uh.. Jaemin’s ex, don’t ask. They’re supposed to shop at the bookstore today..” Renjun feels like it’s a mess and he can’t wait to hear all about it on Monday.</p>
<p>“Should we say hello?” Donghyuck suggests. Renjun huffs, already irritated thinking of having to deal with Jaemin’s shenanigan, but it only makes Donghyuck laugh. “So that’s a no. Chill.” Donghyuck pinches his cheek affectionately. He always loved it when Renjun pouted; he still does. Renjun feels the butterflies in his stomach.</p>
<p>They walk down the steps to Cheonggyecheon River and sit down once Renjun finds a dry spot. They take off their shoes and socks, and put their feet in the river. Cheonggyecheon in summer is lively. Renjun loves to just sit there, watching street artists and musicians and little kids running around without a care. The sound of water flowing through the busy city noises is somewhat calming. </p>
<p>“I’ve been going to this place early in the morning or late at night whenever I need to clear my mind.” Renjun starts, carefully trying to sort his thoughts. His heart is heavy with the different emotions running through him. </p>
<p>Donghyuck hums. “With your new boyfriend?” He teases, but Renjun can sense the insecurity in Donghyuck’s voice. Donghyuck is never insecure.</p>
<p>Renjun grimaces, but he can’t be annoyed at Donghyuck’s joke or accusation. Renjun hasn’t told him a single thing, of course it’s a natural reaction from Donghyuck.</p>
<p>He sighs. “No. For the record, I haven't had any boyfriend. I tried to date people but it just isn’t the same.” Renjun looks down to his feet underwater. “None of them is you.” He blinks and sees droplets of his own tears falling into the river. “I came here alone every week, dreaming about going here with you someday. I didn’t think I’d get to do it.” He starts sobbing when he feels a hand in his chin, lifting up his face to look at Donghyuck.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s eyes are glassy but his gaze is tender, he has that cheeky grin that he always has, always trying to make light of a situation. “Well, you’re here with me now. Aren’t you?” His voice is just above a whisper, as if he’s scared he would start crying too. </p>
<p>Renjun straightens up and wipes his tears with his sleeve. He collects himself and looks at Donghyuck, his gaze is firmer now. He should stop bursting into tears if he wants to say everything he wants to say. “When you asked me what my dream was, I didn’t have an answer for that. But you did. I asked my friends and they had dreams too. Then, I felt uneasy. I was jealous of you all, I felt like I had to chase you.” Donghyuck looks at him attentively, signaling that he was listening that Renjun should go on with his story. </p>
<p>“Then, I talked to Sicheng about it. I didn’t tell you this but he actually gave me flowers and confessed to me on the day of my middle school graduation ceremony. You knew I had a crush on him, so I didn’t want to tell you in case you would react negatively. I didn’t know why, I thought it wasn’t important. But I made an effort to hide it from you so maybe I knew it was actually wrong for me to hide it from you.” He sees Donghyuck eyes shake and he hurriedly continues before Donghyuck misinterprets things. “It was nothing like that, Sicheng had a boyfriend already when I started talking to him for advice. At that point I didn’t want to bother you because you were busy and I felt small thinking of talking about it to you, or Jaemin, or Yangyang.</p>
<p>“Sicheng was so helpful during my journey to find what I want to do. He discussed many things with me, gave me small goals, and a lot of good suggestions. I was truly enjoying getting to know myself then, that I became a little selfish without realizing it. I didn’t text you as often as I should, I didn’t even tell you anything about what I was doing.</p>
<p>“Then I started spiraling and thinking about how I had been more than a little selfish. I didn’t go to your practices or games for completely selfish reasons, just because I didn’t like it. It was wrong of me, I could’ve gone. I should’ve supported you. I never once went to your house, always asking you to come to mine. The guilt was eating me.</p>
<p>“Maybe because I know I was guilty that when you said I didn’t miss you as much as you missed me, I was irate. I was furious because I knew you were right to say that. Not because I didn’t miss you, I did. I was just not showing it because I was so full of myself. Then, I decided to break up with you, thinking it was the best thing for <em> you </em>when it wasn’t. I was selfish for deciding that for you. I should’ve talked to you.</p>
<p>“I know you said I should stop apologizing but I feel like I need to say it at least one more time. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the amount of pain I’ve caused you the last year and a half. I hope you can forgive me. And I know it’s my own fault but I’ve missed you. So terribly.”</p>
<p>Renjun sees tears flowing from Donghyuck’s eyes and he feels terrible. Even worse, because he knows he’s the reason behind those tears. He wipes Donghyuck’s cheeks with his thumb and Donghyuck holds his wrist gently, leaning his face on his hand. He holds Renjun’s hands in his and puts them on his lap. “What’s your dream?” Donghyuck asks suddenly, Renjun feels like this is some kind of a deja vu.</p>
<p>His eyes twinkle upon that question, he has been waiting for the day he gets to answer Donghyuck’s question for a long long time. “I want to become a journalist, specifically about music and films.” Renjun’s tone brightens, his heart feels lighter now. “I’ve been writing for my school magazine. Sometimes I submit articles to music and film online magazines and get paid, though just a little.” </p>
<p>He suddenly feels a little bit shy to continue. “Um.. I also have a blog where I post my personal experiences and reviews. My first entry is actually about teaching piano.” Donghyuck’s eyes narrow curiously. “It’s about teaching you.” Renjun’s cheeks are tinged with pink. It’s not that he’s not confident about his writing. He just feels weird that Donghyuck will read the article and see his feelings bare. </p>
<p>Donghyuck scoots closer. He puts his head on Renjun’s shoulder and stills, looking at their feet. His feet fleetingly touch Renjun’s before he tangles them together. Renjun puts his head over Donghyuck, finding comfort in their silence. They just watch people pass by and listen to the water for a while.</p>
<p>The silence is broken when Donghyuck murmurs in a tiny voice, but Renjun can hear it loud and clear in his ears. It seems intentional, like he wants Renjun to be the only one who can hear him. “I love you.” </p>
<p>Hearing Donghyuck’s confession gives him the strength to take a leap of faith. It feels like his heart is in his throat and about to leap out of his mouth, but he tries to calm himself down.  He gently pushes Donghyuck’s head away from his shoulder, his hands are planted on Donghyuck’s shoulders. He stares at Donghyuck’s eyes intently, trying to find a possibility of rejection but it is nowhere in sight. He can only see fondness. Maybe it’s the fondness from his own eyes reflected on Donghyuck’s, but he’d take anything as a sign now.</p>
<p>Nothing is stopping him, so he follows through. “I’ve changed. I’ve learned from my mistakes. And I’ve never stopped loving you. Will you give me a second chance and let yourself be mine again?” His voice is shaky, he can’t conceal the nervousness streaming through his veins in his entire body. If he wasn’t sitting down, he’s sure his legs would give up.</p>
<p>“Only if you promise you won’t block my number and ghost me ever again no matter what happens.” Donghyuck jokes. Renjun lets out the breath he’s been holding the entire time.</p>
<p>“I promise.” Renjun looks around before leaning forward to give Donghyuck a quick kiss. “You can tell Jeno to beat me up if that ever happened, which it wouldn’t.” It’s Donghyuck's turn to laugh.</p>
<p>“Do you wanna go to my house?” </p>
<p>“Yes, I would love to cook for you.”</p>
<p>“You know I’m a <em> way </em>better cook than you are, right?”</p>
<p>“Hey! Let me do something nice for you for once.”</p>
<p>“You can do something nice to me in my bedroom.”</p>
<p>Renjun gives Donghyuck a glare, his face is beet red now. Donghyuck’s feet quickly splash some water to Renjun’s face before he jumps out of the river and dashes away. Renjun quickly follows and chases Donghyuck by the river bank, both of them running on bare feet. Donghyuck laughs loudly as Renjun yells at him, demanding him to stop. </p>
<p>When Renjun hears that laugh echoing through the plaza, knowing that it comes out of the love of his life, he doesn’t care that the people around them start to stare and laugh at them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I spiraled with this one. Very self indulgent. Didn't know it would be this long. Anyways, thanks again for reading and kudos. Let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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